so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
