I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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