your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
