when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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