How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize