would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
