I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
