My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
