You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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