Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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