oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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