I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
