Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
