If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
