That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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