I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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