Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
