Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
