oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
