I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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