I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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