Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
