dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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