I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
