when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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