I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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