We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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