Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
