Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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