I like my sex mixed with concussions.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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