I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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