the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
