this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
not ubering you a puppy
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
