Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.