Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO