I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."