If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.