I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
