i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
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Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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