But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pooping to opera.
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