We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
