She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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