JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We just shotgunned beers for America
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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