Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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