Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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