When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
