to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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