What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
