I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
