I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
