absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
