There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize