Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
