the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
