There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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