I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
