I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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