I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
