I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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