What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
